You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
