Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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