i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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