The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
