I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
