wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
