I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
