: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
