Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
