im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
