Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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