Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
