The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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