Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
