I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
