she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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