Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had to coat check the pizza.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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