Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
