I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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