you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
