If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pooping to opera.
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