im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
