I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
