so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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