I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
