WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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