after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
