Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
