Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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