If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You smell like stripper and shame
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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