OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
