just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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