So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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