Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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