Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
