i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
