with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
