Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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