How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
