every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
