What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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