If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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