What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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