Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
