Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
