Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
