Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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