ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
