you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
