How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
