we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
