we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
