I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we're making bets on your personal life
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
