An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize