I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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