I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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