I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize