Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
they're like a gay fantastic four
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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