she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think people are normalizing furries
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
