I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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