I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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