how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I think my fart just growled at me.
honey bunches of taint.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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