Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
