and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
