that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
